"Hidden Amongst Winter Holes"

I read of you, and burn; the tinge of detachment
Too lucid to admit. I have no view-able version
Destructing further- the weight of your absence.
Your nylon headdress, smug over your senses;
Tell me as I wonder- How now do you fare?

Nearly an offense on the final of the last
Did I find myself stretching backwards
In angst over your strict departure.
You, whose voice I did but hear once-
To elongate the meaning of all your worthy text.

On an afternoon filled with affectionate chatter
Did the sound of your words land with a meaningful boom
For that room did fill quickly of the urge to postpone 'Us'.
And in that reversal of yesterday's memory
The wish to take back that pause- grows.

We are older now, and you, too far along your dismal road
To ever turn back now and take my hand.
The decay of our philosophical affairs still smoulders
You- the wrench in my most sought after machine.
I detest ever so strongly your unprecedented departure.

Father, Lover, Brother, Man. Shunned in regret
I felt you shudder, broken within.
The whining interior wails hard and silent
Struck deeply and reverberating 'souvent...'
For I love you, you see; I always have.

You shared and I shook, swallowing your goals to be heard.
Lodged in comfort, your confessions remain
For mine was the home of understanding; of care.
Take into your cabinet of horrid disfigurement
The deepening luster of my longing for you...

To know, to listen, to learn once more; to let you know that you were not in vain.
That your offerings on those cold days in the High Desert
Were cherished and understood in ways that you needed.
Remembered, mused over, written and drawn
To love, to honor, to learn from.