Wednesday, September 30, 2015

27 ways to Give Up.

Torn, in a few places
Fleeting, time, taunting moments with what 'was'
Gasping at dying breath
Gone, windows pasted over
View - out.
Rot-ridden, the decay, newly begun
What little time and hope afforded this-
This convoluted emptiness
Born of assumptions.

I am whole again
In my solitude.
Home again, in my lonesomeness
Hope, strewn about like a broken pinata
Confetti, becoming one with the dirt
Concoction of memory and 'almost there' remedies
I hold fast in the stickiness
The sticky, messy, blasted to bits- communion.
Busted host, with its crimson residue

As though 'feeling pretty' had been enough
To stay the nature of darkened beasts
Inhabiting darkened beats
The dying animal bleats
Cornered too late
Blinded, soundless, touch-less
As the errant dreaming of Lovers
Roams disconnected
Into the flume of loss.

Monday, September 14, 2015


Affiliated, in this lifetime, to paper and pen.
To keys and screen and ink - strewn about
The desire to control the nerve I own
Has been lifelong - substantial - devout.
But what if I am wrong... Strong-arming myself this way?
Today I am conflicted; how often have I erred in defining
The context of these engrossing deliberations?

Fuck the touching down of 'what if'.

Control, control, control
How much sabotage has engulfed my native mind?
Fluted sounds of whimsy have never been followed
Never been allowed to pursue more clarity;
Squashed in the delayed reaction of hesitation
I have become intolerant to encouraging my vulerabilty
Too effectively, too concisely, too well.

Do I wander back out hence the way I came?

Or do I jump the current path I travel-
To sandblast all known patterns of difficulty and defeat?


If I want to heal the ache with something more than ignorance.
I ache. Ache from the tightly bolted constriction
The harness held firmly in place, tied to lock away
The nerve to flow outward, with all things left undone.
I ache for more...
I ache for release, for a filter-free existence
'Away from the Maddening Crowds...'

I surge in tension. As I have so many fucking times before
Tell me, I ask of myself, "Tell me what comes next?"
In this place of wretched defeat, where I have boldly turned outward
In every direction but forward.
I'm in denial. I loathe the abysmal gap between conscience
And corruption.

Until I stop wasting time with useless thought
That paintbrush will continue to languish
Burdened by the inactivity of an owner who is for now-
Laboring in a cesspool of indecision.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015


Ripped like a band-aid
Stuck good, stinging.
Arguing silently
Finger-pointing tsunami
Of time lost in space

Not the space of outer limits
Goading moments filled with waiting
That space lingering
Between planned action
And coerced externalities.

Well fuck those gooey needs
That taint the glow of bliss
Unable to float on the puffy love we made
While time was locked within us
Breathing back and forth
Into-out-around-through-and away...

I am there, in the antithesis of your disdain
Lounging around in uneasiness
You force me to articulate new moons
Shedding muddy light onto the glow
Of our corduroy blanket
Covered in salt and sand.

Sturdier fabric exists
But fuck the hunt for something 'else'
I wanted you, cloaked in your strong stoic silence
The sleeping you, that relaxed beneath my palms
A man that understood the reasoning behind being 'careful'
Even when I understood nothing myself.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015


There is, was, has and will continue to be
New glue in this binding,
The spine is widening
Allowing leniency -
Allowing Love.

A new chapter

Catering confirms
Conformity to the heart -
A slab of strong, newly extracted clay
Constructed of malleable, fresh, pink cells
Boldly promotes the backbone of Love.

Co-piloting success

Coax, quiver.. quickened beat
Blood cells brighten
In decadent ode
Valentinian musk - everywhere
I'm drinking every drop that spills into me
This is mischief
This is murder

Risking precious mileage
Virtuosic perfection
Choked by the boldness of  charm
Willingness parades in finest threads
That in this daring... Love be found.

To lie in wait
Belies the waiting

Flowers bloom, bursting
Pollen Ejaculates triumphantly
Swirling potent chromosomes
Into all the air I'm breathing;
Sucking. Soaking. Filling up.

Juice to hydrate, quench and glide
Into the salty sea below us

His body, flush with my hands
His smell, controlling each sense
His voice, barreling quietly through his chest
Into my loving heart, filled with distraction
And the glow of our perfect, silvery moon.